BEAUTY ROOM CONFESSIONS. Shhhhhh. I will never tell!

I dedicate this Post to my colleague and personal beauty therapist - Rachel Thompson. The book you and I want to write. <3


Forgive me Father, for I have sinned!

Pic courtesy of Google Images.

Priest: "For your penance, you are to buy some new Red Lipstick and wear it like a Diva".

Pic courtesy of Google Images

If only it was as easy as that. But I think in my line of work, I am the priestess; the counsellor; the psychologist - all wrapped into one - THE BEAUTY THERAPIST / THE MAKE UP ARTIST.

Beauty Therapists sign an oath - NEVER TO DISCLOSE THEIR CLIENTS' SECRETS.

Okay, so we don't literally sign anything. It's more like WATCH YOUR FELLOW SISTER'S BACK!

Pic courtesy of Google Images

HERE ARE SOME TOPICS THAT CAN BE LISTENED TO DURING AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE BEAUTY THERAPIST OR MAKE UP ARTIST - I'm blessed to be both so I get double confessionals.

1. I have a blind date tonight; I need to de-clutter my hairy body! STAT.

All above pics are courtesy of Google Images. NB> that is NOT the real Chewbaka. lol

2. My best friend's sister's husband is cheating on her with the neighbour's cousin's friend. WHAT!!!!

Pic courtesy of Google Images

3. I tried Botox - but I tell everyone my lips are naturally this big. (insert monkey lips here).

OH DEAR! Courtesy of Google Images.

4. I'm not normally this beautifully tanned. I get a spraytan every week. (insert stained skin that resembles a skin disease more so than a 'glowing tan').

LOOKS SO NATURAL......IF YOU ARE A DORRITO CHIP. PASS THE GUACAMOLE.

Courtesy of Google Images.

5. I never wear make up. I'm naturally this gorgeous (insert outline drawn across the jawline).

I look so natural. NOT!
Courtesy of Google Images.

6. When you do my bridal make up - please make me look fabulous. Make those bridesmaids look ordinary.

Awww, why so Pretty?????
Courtesy of Google Images.

7. Please make my mother-inlaw look like Side Show Bob (Suzi, Lidia & Kathy.....lol)  Actually, don't say you are available at all - I don't want to share my Make up Artist.

I've seen a few look like Side Show Bob :-P
Courtesy of Google Images.

8. I know I look great for my age. People assume my daughter and I are sisters. (lady, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you do look 55).

So young and flawless. This one is for you Raymond N!
Courtesy of Google Images.

9. I don't know why I have put on so much weight. I eat well and exercise everyday........ (by exercise she means she walks to the fridge and grabs the 2 litre ice-cream tub and demolishes the entire box).

HMMMMM.....no comment.
Courtesy of Google Images. 

10. DRUM ROLL ......... I want lashes. Big lashes. I want them to look natural. I want to batter those lashes to every good looking man who takes a glance my way. I'm not vain. I'm just beautiful. I can't help it I was blessed with great genes. (insert eye rolling on my part - WHATEVER).

They look natural right?
 Google Images.

There is so much more that I could write but I think I shall wait until I write my very own memoirs in the future. It will probably be when I'm 60 - sporting The Devil Wears Prada Meryl Streep look. By then I imagine I would have an A to Z of beauty secrets.

My biggest compliment to date would be that I was a great listener and probably saved them big pennies from having to go to their counsellor for a session. I'm a lot cheaper yes. And you get to look fabulous too once your make up is done. Bet no counsellor can do that!

So girls, and guys (although no guy shares any gossip - boring species) next time you have to get something off your chest (no pun intended - a wax perhaps on the hairy chest - lol) always count on your BT or MUA. We're not just magicians, but we are great listeners too. We don't judge - to your face....lol. No, seriously, it is rewarding when you can make a difference to someone's life. Both physically and mentally. Call me FAIRY GODMOTHER EXTRORDINAIRE. Mission accomplished.

AND A MAKE UP ARTIST 

SK x