PANIC AT THE DISCO 💥

Hands up if you have ever experienced a panic attack? 🙌 Yep. I have. It's been years since I've had an "attack"...... it happened driving through the M5 tunnel, on my way to do a make up job for a well known Haircare Brand. These days Ive taught myself to breathe it out and change my thought patterns.

Anyone who has experienced a panic attack can honestly tell you it's like you're having a heart attack. Tightness in the chest. Sweat pouring down from your head. Feels like ants are actually crawling on your face. And you basically think this is it!!! YOU'RE DYING!

I don't wish this on anyone. But i must request those who are a little arrogant and non-believers, to respect those in this state and stop telling us to 'get over it'.

Us humans are quick to judge others. Im guilty of this too and if you can't admit to this then I suggest you STOP reading now. Adios!

If you are stilling reading......phew....I haven't lost you.

Panic attacks are associated with Mental Illness. Funnily enough, it isn't a contagious disease (insert sarcasm) as some people may have been swayed to think differently through misconceptions. Anyone could be suffering in silence and you wouldn't know.

Here is the definition that Google Dictionary tells us about Panic Attacks.

panic attack

noun

noun: panic attack; plural noun: panic attacks

a sudden overwhelming feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.

See, it's a "noun". Not an adjective or a simile. It refers to 'something', 'a person' or 'a place'. See Google's definition below.

noun

GRAMMAR

a word (other than a pronoun) used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things ( common noun ), or to name a particular one of these ( proper noun ).

Panic attacks are a funny thing. It literally came out of nowhere the very 1st time it hit me like a tonne of bricks, back in 2010. Looking back now and after scheduled meetings with a counselor at that time; it was a build up of so many insecurities within myself and my ambition to constantly please everyone around me. Family. Work. Friends. My brain just could not take it anymore!

BOOM! Enter PANIC ATTACKS. The counselor opened up a can of worms. So many things had been bottled up and pushed back in my subconscious.

It's taken me 8 years to share this publicly. Was I embarrassed? At first; you bet ya!! I was being treated for a mental health condition. I bet most of you reading this that know me, had NO IDEA!!! I was still 'normal' wasn't I?

My motivation in writing this blog today, is to reach out to any of you who might be going through this. I'm no doctor and please don't read too much into it. This is my personal experience. My journey of late which is decluttering my life; has also seen my doctor take me off my meds! Yes! Am I cured for life? Probs not. No one will ever have answers to that question. But I'm happy NOW!

Please know, there is help out there. There is light as the end of the tunnel. You are human! You are allowed to experience these weird feelings. For anyone who has continued to read this, even though you are still sceptical; just know this, I am normal. The following quote ~ from Alice in Wonderland ~ is my mantra.

Pic taken from Google Images 

God Bless

SK💋



Im writing this piece whilst waiting at the Endocrinologist, for my diabetes quarterly review. Right next to where I'm sitting, are patients waiting to see the specialist dealing with Mental Health. Coincidence??? Hmmm pretty sure the universe is telling me something!

For professional advice,
contact Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF.

This week we celebrated our third child's birthday. It was a milestone - turning 16.

Sixteen! Wowsers.....I remember my 16th birthday. We had a 'getty' as the young of today call it. We called it a get together with a few friends. We had pizza, wine and cake. Birthday cake is always essential. Wine. Underage drinking was kinda normal in our household. The croatian family dynamics always included some vino during Sunday lunch, regardless of our age. 

If there was a moment to step back in time, there would be a few home truths I would tell myself. Right my wrongs. What would I tell my 16 year old self?

• Less is more Sandra.........that fringe really was not necessary. The proportions were just uncanny. The ozone layer may have began to debilitate because of this craze. I was partially to blame. 😱😱😱
• 
  

• Boys did not like you if they teased you. They simply disliked you. They really were being mean to us. Those boys turned into little old, bold, overweight men now. #sorrynotsorry
• A boy crush was a normal emotion and we shouldn't be ashamed of having feelings for another human. If my 16 year old is reading this now, STOP! This does not apply to you. YET. Not until your 20. 👀👀😜

Happy birthday Claudia. Sweet 16.

• Wanting to pursue a career in artistic flair is a real job. Going to Uni was not the be all end all. University does not define my intelligence. 

My freelance make up brand has evolved.
University was not for me. I began studying Communications .

• High school would be the best social life of all time. That is all.
• Thinking I was overweight is ridiculous. Size 8 is better than size 18. I should have worn that skimpy bikini. Those tight jeans.....oh wait, I did wear tight marble washed jeans. 
• FMB boots should have made it onto my wish list. God only knows they don't make them for larger width calves and thighs now. 
• I could have worn g-bangers, allowing them to peer over my jeans........nana undies it was from day dot. 😇😇😇They are more comfortable I guess. 
• Midriff tops are to be worn pre-baby only. 
• Wearing leggings as pants would only be acceptable till the year 2000; they are only to be worn as exercise apparel now. 
• One day my daggy trackydacs would be acceptable as 'active wear'. Velour would be made popular by J-Lo. 
• Salt n Peppa would forever be etched into our brains that our children will be taught choreography at their dance schools to this music.
• Serving your child alcohol was only normal within the home. Bad parenting was the norm.
• Being nice to everyone pays off as they appear from time to time in 2018 and they still like you!

My 16th birthday celebration &
Her 16th birthday 'getty'.
1989 vs 2018

So much to reflect on. Oh one thing I forgot to mention; Red Lipstick is forever in! 💄

Chanel lippie in Red is always a good idea.

My message to all 16 year olds today; make your mark now. Be nice to your parents and respect yourself always!!

SK 💋

Changing mindset & losing unwanted weight!

Life has thrown many obstacles my way over the last few years and I'm sure it is nothing out of the ordinary that perhaps you have gone through too. It's like our life cycle rides the roller coaster of emotions, not knowing what is waiting for us at the end. Happiness, fear, uncertainty or grief; each of these emotions can smash into a million fragments, just waiting for us to put the pieces back together again.

Pic from Google images 

I find myself questioning why sometimes I feel sad for no reason at all. Home life is great, kids are great and driving me mad which is normal and my career is on point. I can't say that I'm depressed; rather my body feels depressed. No energy and feeling lethargic for no reason. Health professionals suggest exercise. Ummm.... really! I have no energy to do simple tasks like brush my teeth and they want me to go for a walk. F@*k that! Even that wasn't making sense to me.

Now if I'm being totally honest, this hasn't only happened once, but seems to reoccur every 3 to 4 years. I don't recall signing up for this roller coaster hell as I know it. So you would think that I would know how to handle it all when it decides to vist again. Nope!!! I really have no answers but I do know I'm not alone in this constant battle. When it decides to rear its ugly head, it's like it's hitting me for the very first time.

How we decide to deal with our emotions really depends on how we perceive everything around us. Recently I have had friends and family tell me how great I've been looking as I have lost a little bit of weight. " How have you done it" they've asked.

Pic from Google Images

Honestly there is no diet. No surgeries. And certainly no gym - I hate exercise. Do I still eat CAKE..... hell yeh. All in moderation. And ...... I no longer eat my family's leftovers, cause I didnt want to throw food away. It all comes down to mindset. I'm 44 (don't say that out loud) and I have type 2 diabetes; I'm on daily insulin injections; I take 6 tablets daily and I have 4 children - who I want to be around for in the future. Now that's a wake up call if I ever got one.

So I decided on my own, that I need to fix this. Doctors have been telling me for years but I was too stubborn to listen. That is the rebel in me defying all professionals lol. But the decision had to be made by ME. I'm the only one who can steer this ride.

Weight loss at my age is not easy. It's a journey rather than a destination. How do I finally get it now but when I was going through hell in my head; I could not see or think clearly!!!

The last 3 months has been a journey of decluttering my life; decluttering the house - yes I'm a hoarder. Decluttering my emotions; decluttering my excess weight and decluttering people who have taken advantage of my kindness. Sound familiar? I can guarantee that you too have been down this road. The weight off my shoulders was literally falling off. Letting go of negative thoughts shifted the negative build up in my body and released the excess baggage I was carrying.  I haven't gone mad trust me. I just see and feel things differently.

Pic from Google images 

I'm no longer eating cause I'm bored. I use my time to write, do marketing for my business (yes on FB and Instagram - don't judge me) and go on mini adventures. This is my way of healing and learning to respect ME again, cause let's face it, if you can't love yourself how do you have the potential to love others? Deep yeh?

That's all I've done to shift this unwanted weight. It's still hard work. But am I happier? YES! And healthier and fitting into jeans I haven't been able to wear in years (insert happy dance). Patience is also practised. It's not going to be fixed immediately.  But the journey becomes less painful knowing there is a positive outcome waiting for us.

If I'm able to make just a handful of readers smile; knowing that no one is alone when feeling blue, then I choose happiness for good. Write down your thoughts in a journal. Seeing your goals written down reinforces our brains we are on a mission.

And that brings me to the end of today's blog. So eat the cake, drink champagne, put on some lipstick and flutter those lashes peeps. Happy thoughts all the way!!

SK 💋